Disneyland. The people here are too happy. Why does everything have to be so much fun? I find the ambiance to be too magical. It’s unnatural. I thought Lord Farquad decreed that all fairytale creatures be banished from the kingdom and that all fruitcakes and freaks were hereby evicted?!
The princesses are not convincing. Their dresses seemed unsuitable for the occasion. Let alone the ridiculously hot California summer heat! It’s as if they’re overcompensating. I don’t mean any disrespect if they are genuine royalty, but they were taking selfies with commoners, just like Meghan Markle and the Kardashians.
Peter Pan gave me no peanut butter. Captain Jack shared no rum. And Elsa made me no ice. I did eat a crab meat sandwich at ‘Earl of Sandwich’. Sorry kids, I think it was Sebastian.
The induced laughter & smiles made the corners of my mouth numb & my belly feeling uncomfortably of butterflies. The security guards would not permit me to abide in the sleeping quarters of the castle. My Mickey Mouse ears fooled no one. Worst of all, I had to explain to my 16 year old son Blake why there were 5 Goofy’s in the park, on the same day, and why they were all wearing different outfits?! It was worse than last Christmas, when I had to explain to him why there were so many Santa’s at Westfield West Lakes.
Ask yourself. Do you enjoy hot, sweaty, overcrowded places? Long lines, terrible rides, annoying kids, stupid mascots, dumb music, unreasonably over-priced tickets, and nasty, expensive food? If you answered yes to any or all of the above, then you’re gonna’ love Disneyland.
The Keeler's 